1.One word: hair
2.More hair than all previous Star Trek commanding officers combined.
3.Drinks coffee, not that sissy "Earl Grey" stuff.
4.Beams down to the planet like real Captains should.
5.Mutes the doctor when the doctor gets out of line.
6.Keeps her First Officer properly in the dark.
7.Can speak "technobabble" with the best of them.
8.Hasn't let an adolescent pilot the Federation flagship -- yet.
10.Commanded ships blown up: Picard: 2 Janeway: 1/2
12.Hasn't quoted Shakespeare -- yet.
15.Isn't French with an English accent.
16."Take this cheese to sickbay!" I don't know why this is here, either, but I loved that line!
17.Will give you two days off to ponder your lifeshattering experience.
18.When Janeway lands her ship, it can take off again.
19.Janeway says "I don't like you!" to her enemies instead of trying to convince them to behave better.
20.To comfort children, Janeway cares for them in a loving motherly way. Picard sings a song...in French...about a monk...who can't wake up for morning bells.
22.Janeway has a First Officer with a tattoo.
23.Picard likes to talk his way through. Janeway likes to punch her way through.
24.She doesn't have any pesky Federation Admirals to get in her way.
25.Three words: Compression Phaser Rifles.
26.Acknowledges freely when she breaks the Prime Directive instead of trying to weasel her way out of it with philosophical ramblings.
27.40 episodes without surrendering the ship.
28.40 episodes and Wesley has yet to save the ship.
29.Janeway's holo programs create useful things like doctors and lungs. Picard's holodecks create maniacal evil geniuses who yet again take over the ship.
30.She doesn't need to straighten her uniform every time she stands.
34.Never worries about meeting a son she never knew she had.
36.Cheese
37.Doesn't force her crew to wear awful outfits, unless it is to blend in with a primitive planet.
38.She doesn't waste time learning foreign languages. All lifeforms in the Delta Quadrant speak perfect English. (Greg says "hello! It's called a universal translator. It's in the communicator. Do some research!")
39.Her engineer does not wear a banana clip over her eyes.
40.Slouches in her chair even in critical life-threatening moments.
41.Doesn't have a Counselor on board thank Goodness!.
42.Her telepath only lives nine years.
43.Janeway heard the words "boldly go where no man (er, woman) has gone before" and took them to the extreme.
44.45,000 light-years is one thing. Every point in the universe instantaneously? That's excessive!
45.Picard tells alien cultures, "I hope our two cultures will one day come to a greater understanding." Janeway threatens them with "the deadliest of force."
46.Janeway's holo-characters fall in love with her. Picard's holo-characters want to kill him.
47.Janeway's Security Chief would never grow a ponytail.
48.The high point of Enterprise cuisine were scrambled eggs that only Worf could stomach.
49.Janeway doesn't have to point which way to go when they set off.
50.Maintains an elaborate hairdo that would baffle even Princess Leia.
51.Has mastered facial expression understood by all to mean, "Boy, Paris, are YOU ever stupid."
52.Doesn't need her first officer's permission to blow up her ship.
53.The highest field commission Picard ever gave out was "Acting Ensign."
54.Cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese. I can't help myself!
55.Hugs her Vulcan from time to time.
56.Has a more manly voice.
57.Doesn't have a starship that splits in half when it's in a tight spot.
58.Has a dog, not some darn fish!
60.Kes. Troi. No contest.
61.Nealix. Replicator. Ok, this one's debatable.
62.At least she doesn't have to yell "Hot!" at her cook every time she wants something to drink.
63.Her ship has neat-looking folding warp nacelles.
64.Her CONN officer actually went through the Academy.
65.Her CONN officer can use contractions.
66.Her first officer has a hallucinogenic device.
67.Her Security Officer draws his phaser at the first hint of trouble. Picard's Security Officer gets beat up by half the aliens that come aboard.
68.Her Security Officer would never drink prune juice.
69.Hostile aliens surrounding her, half the crew are spies, the nearest help is 75 years away, and she's still kept the ship together.
70.None of the crew members' relatives have ever tried to take over the ship, invade the Federation, steal a starship, or enslave all humankind.
73.Q asked Janeway to run away with him and she refused. Q asked Picard's girlfriend to run away with him and she accepted. |
