Author: (c) 1995 Dexter Fernandez
10: USS Domino: Tried to get there in thirty minutes or less using
new time warp drive. Failed. Now owes Starfleet a major refund.
09: USS Moonbeam: Got lost due to a spacetime anomaly which not only
threw them into the Delta Quadrant but also all the way back to the
1960's. Crew is currently groovin' away the years on Hippie World,
first discovered by the crew of the Jupiter II.
08: USS Alzheimer: Became lost on shakedown cruise and forgot the way
home.
07: USS Meshuggina: Captain said "Thataway" in emulation of Kirk.
Forgot to say, "Stop!"
06: USS Emmet Brown: Hit warp 8.8. The serious stuff then began...
05: KSS (Upronounceable; roughly translated as Small Fish Used for
Bait): Currently stranded on a desert planet. They've been there
for a long, long time. When last heard, G'LigaN had been accused
by Sk'Per of having no honor.
04: USS Nightwolf: Ventured off in search of a new trade agreement
with the Kazons, who, unbeknownst to the crew, hated the very idea
of marital aids.
03: USS Compressible: Ran into the Borg and were victims of the new
Borg weapon, the Starship-pkzipper. Currently trying to navigate
their way out of Harry Kim's right nostril.
02: USS Swaggart: Hijacked by yet another mad Vulcan looking for
God. This time they found Him. At least, that's what the captain,
a tearful man with carefully-styled hair and a southern accent is
saying. Send him money.
And the Number One Starship Lost in the Delta Quadrant:
01: USS Insufferable: Collided with the Nexus and ship and crew were
transformed into various foodstuffs. Chief Engineer was mistaken
for cheese by Neelix and served to the crew of USS Voyager.
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