While cruising the Delta Quadrant, searching desperately for a
really good party, the starship Voyager accidentally encounters
another time/space wormhole. Sucked into it by magnetic force,
too stupid to hit the warp drive, they find themselves spat out
in orbit around Earth in the year 1995. Before you can say
"Whop!" the wormhole streaks away to create more havoc elsewhere,
leaving Voyager stranded. After a brief mutiny, the crew elects
to beam down to the planet.


Author: Amy Neal-Crandell


10. B'Elanna Torres gets a job as an exotic dancer, but is fired
when she beats up a heckler.

9. The Holo-Doctor downloads himself to the University of
California, where a graduate student claims to have written him.
He is erased by another student who wants to use the memory to play
Tetris.

8. Kes goes to Paramount Studios to demand an explanation for
the poor writing in her series which landed her in this situation
in the first place. She is pacified with a pay increase and the
right to selectively phaser the writers.

7. Harry Kim joins the American Navy. While he is stationed in
the Middle East, a native bamboozles him into buying half a ton
of sand.

6. Ensign Wildman starts a business with Captain Janeway called
"Hair Club for Women."

5. Tuvok invents a type of phaser which can be built out of
materials common to Earth at the time. He markets it under the
code name "Salad Shooter."

4. Commander Chakotay goes to an Amerind reservation to visit
his ancestors. When last contacted, he is incoherent with peyote
and claims to have seen the ghost of Elvis.

3. Neelix is hired to cook for Applebees. He is fired when he
attempts to substitute coloured soybean paste for sirloin tip.

2. Captain Janeway goes into a Waffle House, orders a dinner,
but doesn't touch it. Instead she spends eight solid days
drinking the endless free refills of coffee.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING DONE BY THE CREW
OF THE VOYAGER IN 20TH CENTURY EARTH

Tom Paris is sued in twenty-two separate paternity suits. 'Nough said.