- New assimilation software turned out to be vaporware; back to square one when the supplier's 1-800 number was disconnected.
- Assimilation of Locutus caused chaos as the Borg became caught up in a massive Sam Spade adventure game craze.
- If Earth were assimilated, the commute from the Borg homeworld would be a killer drive.
- Collective Borg decided a cube was too complex a form - awaiting building of a new pyramid ship.
- Earth was too blue for their tastes; they were hoping for an emerald green planet, something in a teal, with tasteful lavender clouds.
- Bidding war for exclusive appearance in Coke or Pepsi commercials too agonizing a choice... returned home to rebuild decision circuits.
- Earth too close to the sun... would ruin their cultivated pallor.
- They heard that Worf personally bragged of kicking their butts if they showed their face in the sector again... began laughing for first time, haven't stopped yet.
- $29 navigation chip failed... they now have NO idea where Earth is... wandering out by the Cardassians, asking for directions.
... And the number one reason the Borg haven't returned to Earth...
- WESLEY CRUSHER
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