10. Transmit "As the World Turns" on all subspace channels

9. Sic a kid in his "terrible twos" on them

8. Send them an 11th grade Algebra textbook

7. Two words: tommy guns

6. Make them eat my mother's meatloaf

5. Beam over a CD of Spinal Tap

4. Get them addicted to Mortal Kombat

3. Try to explain to them the difference between a "Trekkie" and a "Trekker"

2. Install Windows 926843.2 over their operating system

1. Point out to Microsoft's lawyers which way they went