Instructions: Choose the best answer for each of the following questions. Read all choices carefully before deciding since some questions require sudden paradigm shifts and the instructors don't know the answers to others.
1. Commander William Riker has slept with more alien robots then Captain James T. Kirk (ret.).
2. What is the primary criterion for a species to be admitted into the Federation?
A. High ethical standards.
B. A sophisticated level of technology.
C. Two thirds approval of the Federation High Counsel.
D. Fluent English.
E. Ability to hybridize with humans.
3. Why don't phasers work on crew members when they are inhabited by alien beings?
A. Because most alien beings alter the subspace field around their inhabited victims causing phaser beams to decollate into harmless form.
B. Because the phaser stun effect is mostly psychological and aliens are unaware of the expected results.
C. Because crew members are so disoriented when a fellow officer is taken over that they subconsciously use a lower phaser setting than required.
D. Because stunning someone and locking them in the brig doesn't take enough time to fill an hour show.
4. Why does Captain Jean Luc Picard have a British accent despite being born in France?
A. In the late 22nd century Great Britain conquered France.
B. Picard thinks he does have a French accent.
C. His parents were actually Armenian.
D. Patrick Stewart is from Britain and Star Trek's writers couldn't tell the difference.
5. How many times has Lieutenant Commander Data inappropriately assumed control of the ship?
D. Data's programming would not allow him to perform such an act.
6. How many times has Wesley Crusher saved the Enterprise?
A. Never (Wesley's a dweeb)
C. 3 (But he's still a dweeb)
D. 97 (Face it, Wesley should be in command)
7. In a one on one contest which would win, the U.S.S. Enterprise or the Death Star?
A. Enterprise (its a lot faster)
B. Death Star (Enterprise can't blow up planets with one shot)
C. Since they don't exist in the same galaxy, such a contest could never happen.
8. Imagine the following situation. You are in command of the Galaxy class U.S.S. Enterprise. A Romulan Bird of Prey decloaks dead ahead with shields up and disrupters armed and locked on to you. When you order your tactical officer to raise shields, they fail. Which of the following is your best course of action?
A. Have Geordie run a level 1 diagnostic on all systems.
B. Fire full phasers and a tight spread of photon torpedos taking solace in the fact that at least Worf will get to die in battle.
C. Send a priority 1 subspace transmission to Starfleet and wait for further instructions.
D. Hail the Romulan ship and bluff your way through using lots of references to galaxic understanding and cooperation.
E. Order Riker to take command of the battle section then separate the saucer and hang out in Ten Forward with Guinan.
F. Try the Corbomite Maneuver and attempt to escape while the Romulans are rolling on the floor laughing.
9. In the first encounter with the Borg the Enterprise was able to vaporize large chunks of the Borg ship, however in subsequent encounters only slight damage could be inflicted on the Borg. Why?
A. The Borg learned the strengths of Star Fleet technology and modified their ship to counter them.
B. The Enterprise was damaged and could not mount an all out counter attack.
C. The next encounter was with a stronger Borg ship.
D. The show's writers needed more plot complications.
10. Who was Wesley Crusher's first love?
A. Ensign Gomez
B. The buxom Counselor Troi
C. The elasomorph Salia of Dalad IV
D. Klingon he-man Worf
11. Security officer Natasha Yar was killed
A. by an ugly tar monster named Armus.
B. trying to escape from Romulus with her hybrid human/Romulan daughter.
C. by multi-armed dog creatures of Thanos VI.
D. both A & B are correct.
12. Why doesn't artificial gravity ever fail no matter how badly the Enterprise gets hammered?
A. Artificial gravity is created by a series of extremely reliable graviton particle generators.
B. There is actually no gravity on the ship. Everyone just wears stealth Velcro shoes.
C. The special effects department hasn't figured out a cheap way of producing weightlessness.
13. Why doesn't the Federation equip its starships with cloaking devices?
A. Because it gives Starfleet's commanding officers a much more challenging job since their ship can't just disappear at the first hint of danger.
B. Because cloaking technology was lost when the crystalline entity attacked and destroyed Memory Alpha Research Library.
C. Because of the ethical problems associated with skulking around the galaxy undetected.
D. No one knows.
14. The saucer section of the original Constitution class U.S.S. Enterprise could separate from the drive section in the same manner as a Galaxy class ship.
15. Phasers are more powerful than photon torpedoes.
C. It depends on the stringency of required plot complications.
D. Not enough information
16. Who has more hair, Patrick Stewart or William Shatner?
A. Patrick Stewart
B. William Shatner
C. They have about the same amount.
17. Why didn't Klingons encountered during the original five year mission of the Constitution class U.S.S. Enterprise have their spinal cord wrap clear across their foreheads while all subsequent Klingons do?
A. During the refit of the original Enterprise the Klingon Empire had a protracted civil war which involved nuclear weapons causing mutations.
B. In the early days of the Federation the Klingons were very self conscious about their appearance and most had their forehead spine removed by Klingon plastic surgeons in order to look more human.
C. Forehead spines resulted from an allergic reaction Klingons had to the Tribbles Scotty beamed into their engine room during The Trouble with Tribbles.
D. Makeup artists originally thought that big green bad guys with slanted eyebrows were intimidating enough. They were wrong.
18. Eating fatty foods on the Holodeck could cause...
A. significant weight loss if done regularly.
B. significant weight gain if done regularly.
C. fewer trips to the bathroom.
D. portions of a person's body to dematerialize on leaving the Holodeck.
19. Communicators are activated by touching them lightly. How are they turned off?
A. A second touch turns them off (most crew just forget to do this).
B. Communicators sense neck position and turn off when the user lowers their head.
C. The ship's main computer analyzes the content of the conversation and turns off the communicator at the appropriate time.
D. They are never actually off. The bridge crew live vicariously by listening in on private conversations.