star trek the next generation
45 Reasons Not to Date Seven of Nine

45. She actually weighs 300 lbs. It's just all muscle.

44. Not impressed by engagement rings unless you can make the
diamond by squeezing a lump of coal with your fist.

43. Has assimilated men who have much, much nicer cars.

42. Cute blonde hairs eventually just wind up everywhere. (Whoops!
This is actually a reason not to date a tribble. Sorry.)

41. Has no concept of what "not making a scene" means.

40. Keep her out a minute past curfew, and Janeway will kill you.

39. Incredibly furious she missed out on the whole action figure

38. Only says "Take off your clothes" to men who are prettier than
she is.

37. Those mammary implants are like north and south poles on a
battery -- any "encounter" leads to a "shocking" experience.--

36. She forgot the Energizer batteries again!-- Henrik

35. Her extension cord only reaches so far... -- Henrik

34. Do you know what a Borg viral disease would do to you? --

33. She will be the one who has the cold feet in bed! -- Jacky

32. When her relatives visit, they'll leave an awfull mess! -- Jacky

31. The two of you have a little too much syntho-tequila, steal the
Holodoc's portable emiter, undergo a minor transporter
malfunction, and "Boom!" -- you're a daddy. -- Ginny

30. You are afraid to have sex with her as you know she would spend
the whole time planning how to reconfigure your parameters in
order to make you more efficient. -- Alibee

29. The first two and a half hours of any romantic encounter are
spent trying to find the zipper on that damn catsuit. -- Ginny

28. At the monthly Voyager Beer Bash, inebriated crewmembers
keep shouldering you aside to use the bottle opener on Seven's
forehead. -- Ginny

27. The Collective has assimilated detailed knowledge of the sexual
practices of thousands of species, and who needs *that* kind of
pressure? -- Ginny

26. Her implants aren't the type I've learned to appreciate. -- Ian

25. With all those high-tech scanners at his disposal, Harry Kim
knows where you live.

24. Cries helplessly when the Tin Woodsman in the The Wizard of
Oz rusts, then spends the rest of the evening screaming "Oil can! Oil

23. There's not a chance in the universe your mother will like her.

22. Janeway insists on coming along to chaperone.

21. Talk about high maintenance!

20. There's always the possibility she might have implants in places
that would...interfere. -- T'Pring

19. Two words: Static discharge. --

18. Those nails digging into your back actually inserting nanoprobes.

17. Morning breath smells like Pennzoil. --

16. Likely to dump you for your bug zapper. --

15. Thinks "necking is futile."

14. Has special built-in Borg remote-control in her right arm.

13. Her first lover is bound to be killed off.

12. Her old roommate, Eighty-Fifth of Eighty-Five, always wants
to tag along.

11. 198,874,987,293,128,154 in-laws.

10. Facial implants have a habit of falling into the soup.

9. Harry Kim's secret knife collection.

8. The Borg can't cook.

7. Will assimilate your record collection.

6. Automatic response to "Was it good for you too?" is always:
"Pleasure is irrelevant."

5. Borg implants make it impossible to get her drunk.

4. Take that catsuit off and her body falls apart...literally.

3. When the Borg assimilated Species #1428, they gained the
technology to detect instantly when you've so much as looked at
another woman.

2. Always thinks you're quizzing her about theological philosophy
when you mention the missionary position.

1. Oh, who the hell am I kidding?

star trek the next generation
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