Written by Steve Fonti, Chris Mitchell and
Mr. Lawrence
Spongebob: (Gary is on his excerise wheel) Exercise
time is over, Gary. (takes Gary off his wheel) We
don’t want you getting too thin. (holds up a green,
squishy ball) Here, boy. Fetch! (throws it and Gary
goes after it but at a slow pace. Spongebob checks his
watch and goes sits on a chair and takes out the newspaper
to read. Morning arrives and Spongebob is asleep in the
chair. Gary crawls up to Spongebob and spits out the ball)
Gary: Meow.
Spongebob: Huh? (sees the ball on the ground) Good job, Gary!
I love you Gary. Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary. Gary, Gary, Gary. (scratches
his chin which makes Gary purr. Gary climbs up on Spongebob) Down, boy! (Patrick
comes in)
Patrick: Spongebob! Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready?
Spongebob: For what?
Patrick: The annual jellyfish convention in Ukulele Bottom this weekend! (shows
his jellyfishing net off until he hits something breakable) So, you ready
or what?
Spongebob: That was this weekend? I can’t go, I don’t have
anyone to take care of Gary! (Squidward knocks. Spongebob opens door)
Squidward: Would you please stop leaving your undergarments on my front
lawn?
Spongebob: Squidward, could you watch Gary this weekend?
Squidward: What’s a Gary?
Spongebob: Not 'a' Gary...Gary. He’s my pet snail. (shows Gary
to Squidward) Say hello! (Gary is drooling a lot)
Squidward: Yuck. You actually care for that thing?
Spongebob: I love Gary!
Squidward: Well, I don’t. Get somebody else. (walks off)
Spongebob: I guess we can’t go away this weekend after all, Patrick. (Squidward
stops)
Squidward: Go away? You mean, if I watch Gary, you guys will be gone
all weekend?
Spongebob: Actually, a three day weekend.
Squidward: As in, not here for three days?
Spongebob: Yeah, but you’ve already said you can’t do it,
we understand.
Patrick: Don’t feel bad, Squidward. The three of us can still have
our own jellyfish convention at your house!
Squidward: I changed my mind. You guys deserve a weekend away.
Spongebob: You’ll do it? Great! Let me show you a little bit about
snail care. You need to take Gary for a walk... (Spongebob explains the
daily routine with Gary but Squidward is thinking of how much fun he'll have
with Spongebob & Patrick away)
Squidward: Friday, Saturday and Sunday. A three-day weekend.
Spongebob: Let me show you how to feed him. (opens a cabinet with
a bunch of barrels of Gary's food) The cans are all marked, a can in
the morning and a can at night.
Squidward: Sure it’s enough? (bus drives up to the pineapple
with other jellyfishers inside)
Group: Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing!
Patrick: The bus is here! The bus is here! (crashes through the wall
and through the buss leaving his starfish shape through each hole) C’mon,
Spongebob!
Group: Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing!
Squidward: (pushing Spongebob out of the house) Well, time to
go. Don't want to be late. Have fun, bye-bye.
Spongebob: Now, you won't forget my instructions, will you?
Squidward: I have the memory of an elephant, I’ll take good care
of Fred.
Spongebob: Gary.
Squidward: Right, yeah, right. (bus drives off) Jellyfishing!
Jellyfishing! So long, losers! (laughs with joy) They’re gone! (runs
inside his easter island head.Gary peeks his eyes out the window)
Gary: Meow.
Squidward: (comes out with shorts on and his nose with sunscreen on
it and a chair. Unfolds the chair and sits on it) This is going to be
the best three days of my life. (sighs and lays back with a sunreflector
in front of him) I’m going to do all the things I can’t normally
do because of Spongebob. (all three days pass and now Squidward is badly
sunburned, The bus comes back as the group is chanting "jellyfishing") Well,
thus ends the greatest weekend of my life. No Spongebob, no Patrick, nothing
but me, me, me. (Squidward sees Gary through the window. Gary growls gutterally.
Squidward's sunburn drains) Ahh, the snail! I forgot the snail! (runs
inside the pineapple where Gary is old and withered on the floor. Squidward
takes him inside to the kitchen) I've got to do something. (takes
all the barrels of food and puts it in his bowl) Ok, ok ,ok. Here we
go. Here we go. Right here.(throws the food at Gary trying to get him
to eat it) Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat. You've got to finish this
food.
Spongebob: See you later, Patrick.
Squidward: Come on, eat. Eat! Eat! (Spongebob gets his house key out.
Squidward has to decide about the food) Ohh...
Spongebob: (sticks the key in the hole and opens the door) Gary!
I’m home!
Squidward: (greets Spongebob with a head full of Gary's food that
he ate) Hi, Spongebob.
Spongebob: Squidward! What are you doing here? (Squid swallows all
the food)
Squidward: Oh, just checking up on old Gary for you.
Spongebob: What a great friend you are, Squidward.
Squidward: So, uhh, well, see you. Good-bye.
Spongebob: Thanks, Squidward. (Gary crawls to Spongebob still old
and wrinkly) I can always count on you. (Gary moans and Spongebob
screams) Gary! Gary, what’s happened to you? What’s wrong?
Squidward, something’s wrong with Gary! Squidward! (Squidward frowns
cause he can't leave. Later, the doctor's snail-mobile is in front of the
pineapple)
Doctor: Yes, yes, it’s just as I thought.
Spongebob: What?
Doctor: This is definitely a snail.
Spongebob: I knew it! Oh Squid, did you hear that?
Doctor: Therefore, a shot of snail plasma must be carefully administered.
Here you go. (hands the shot to Spongebob)
Spongebob: Aren’t you going to do it?
Doctor: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I’m too squeamish. (doctor
leaves. Squidward runs after him)
Squidward: Uhh, hey, doc, let me help you with your bag there.
Spongebob: Squid, wait! I can’t give Gary his plasma. I’m
squeamish too.
Squidward: Aww, Spongebob, I don’t want to do... (Gary moans
and coughs badly)
Spongebob: Gary!
Squidward: Ok, ok, I’ll do it. (takes the shot)
Spongebob: Now, don’t hurt him, Squidward. Ok, ok, steady. (Squidward
tries to give Gary the shot but Spongebob pulls him away) Wait, that's
too hard. Ok, ok, ok, try it again. (Squidward keeps trying but gets the
same result everytime)
Squidward: Will you hold him still? (snail plasma shot in in Spongebob's
nose)
Spongebob: Squidward, you’re injected me with snail plasma.
Squidward: Well, you made me do it.
Spongebob: What’s going to happen to me?
Squidward: Oh, nothing, it’s just a little snail plasma.
Spongebob: I don’t know, I feel kind of funny!
Squidward: I'm telling you, it's all in your head. (Gary crawls to
his water bowl to get a drink)
Squidward: He just needed water?
Spongebob: Oh, Gary, you’re better! (hugs him)
Squidward: Oh, how touching. I’m going to go home and throw up.
Good night.
Spongebob: Squidward, wait, the snail plasma!
Squidward: Trust me Spongebob, nothing’s going to happen to you.
You’re fine. (closes door)
Gary: Meow.
Spongebob: Don’t worry Gary, Squidward says I’ll be fine.
He knows everything. So, you hungry?
Gary: (jumps up) Meow! (Spongebob pours food into Gary's bowl
but decides to see what it tastes like. He likes it so he eats all of it.
Then walks to Gary with the empty bowl)
Spongebob: Here ya go. Eat up, Gary.
Gary: Meow?
Spongebob: Sorry Gary, I couldn’t control myself. (burps) Meow.
Why did I just do that? Am I cracking up?
Gary: Meow.
Spongebob: No, no, Squidward’s right. I’m fine. I worry too
much. It’s all in my head. I feel tip-top! (Spongebob walks off
but Gary walks faster) Gary, you’ve getting (voice slow, lowers) a
lot faster. (walks up to the mirror in the bathroom. His voice echoes) Look
at me. Never better. (yelps while his body goes into transformation) I’m
ok, Squidward said I’m fine! (Spongebob yells as his eyes pop out
and transform like Gary's eyes) Gary, I’m fine! (Spongebob's
right arm gradually disappears) That’s ok, I’m a lefty anyway. (his
feet disappear) Now I don’t have to buy those new shoes! (his
body shortens up like a snail) Ahh, I take it back, Gary. Something is
wrong with meeeeeow!
Squidward: (in his bed) I never want to see another snail again.
Good night, Clary. (knock on door and doorbell rings) I wonder who
that could be as if I didn’t already know. (Squidward walks to the
door and opens it) Spongebob, I already told you. You’re gonna
be just fi-i-i... (screams. Spongebob is a fully breaded snail now)
Spongebob: Meow.
(Squidward screams) Meow. Meow. (Squidward touches Spongebob's
left eye and it curls up. Squidward screams and runs back inside shutting
the door)
Squidward: Spongebob? Oh, Neptune, what have I done? (picks up the
snail plasma shot) It's all your fault. (throws it away) Ok, ok,
ok, ok, get it together, Squidward.
Spongebob: Meow. (Squidward screams and puts boards on his door. Turns
around and Spongebob is at his window) Meow. Meow. (Squidward screams) Meow. (Squidward
puts more boards on his window but Spongebob squeezes through the boards
holes) Meow. Meow. (Squidward screams and runs into his closet)
Squidward: None of this would be happening if I’d only fed the
snail! (Spongebob squeezes in from under the door)
Spongebob: Meow. (Squidward screams and runs through his door) Meow. (Squidward
runs up and down his ceiling while Spongebob keeps meowing at him. Outside,
his house is bouncing from side to side until its flipped on its side completely.
Everything is broken and torn inside. Squidward sits up but is injected with
the snail plasma through his nose) Uh-oh... (now Spongebob, Squidward,
and Gary are on a fence)
Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Spongebob: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Squidward: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Spongebob: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Squidward: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Patrick: Will you clam up?! (throws a shoe)
Squidward: Meow, meo... (shoe hits him off the fence)
Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Spongebob: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Squidward: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
End