MuscleBob BuffPants - Spongebob Squarepants Transcripts
Written by Ennio Torresan, Jr., Erik Wiese and Mr. Lawrence
(in Spongebob's house, he is looking at himself in the mirror trying to look strong)
Spongebob: It's time to grow myself large and wide. (grows himself large and wide as he is saying it. Walks over to his weight, which is a pink bunny and a blue bear and has struggle lifting it but gets it over hit head. Doorbell rings. Opens door)
Sandy: Howdy, Spongebob. How's it goin'?
Spongebob: Not too close, Sandy. I tend to get smelly when I'm pumping iron. Check it out. (shows off his muscles but is still a weakling)
Sandy: Well, you're smelly.
Spongebob: All thanks to my state-of-the-art workset. (shows all sorts of stuffed animals)
Sandy: Uhh, I don't wanna disappoint you, Spongebob but you won't see any progress with those.
Spongebob: Oh, really?
Sandy: That is, if you want arms like these. (shows off big, masculine muscles) Or these. (shows off other arm muscles) Or these. (shows off all muscles. Spongebob's arm wiggles in the air)
Spongebob: Well, uhh, maybe I could use a little help.
Sandy: Well, if you want arms like mine, you just gotta follow my training program.
Spongebob: Wow, really? That'd be great Sandy. I can see me now. (imagines himself with muscles and very tall playing in the Krusty Krab, Jellyfish Fields & sleeping) Yeah...that would change everything.
Sandy: Be at my place at 5 a.m. And you'll need a water helmet. (puts a fish bowl on his head. Now, at Sandy's treedome where Spongebob is trying to do push-ups) Come on, Spongebob, it's only push-ups. Come on. Come on. You can do it. (Spongebob is grunting at this point determined to get a push-up. His body cracks and falls down while his arms stay up)
Spongebob: One. (acorn bell dings)
Sandy: (in boxing ring with gloves on) Alright, put 'em up.
Spongebob: (struggles getting his gloves up) They're up.
Sandy: Ding ding. (punches Spongebob out of the ring. Later, Sandy starts up her exercise wheel with Spongebob on it. Spongebob pants while the wheel goes faster and makes him trip all over the wheel) Feeling the burn?
Spongebob: I'm feeling something. (launches out of the wheel and into the treedome glass)
Sandy: Well, now that we've got warmed up, it's time for the arm-
Spongebob: Arm-cruncher, great. (sees 2 cement blocks slamming into the cement pedistal) This squirrel's trying to kill me.
Sandy: (walks up to the arm-cruncher with phone in hand) This it it.
Spongebob: Hey, that's great, Sandy. Well, I sure had fun, we'll have to do it again sometime, bye. (hangs up) This working out thing isn't working out. (arms bulge in and out) Ow. Ow. Ow.
TV: Hey, you. Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy. "Oh, I'm a little peanut worm." Are you too much of a wimp to work out? Are you a weakling built like a sponge? Well, now you too can have muscles.
TV: With anchor arms! (puts a long pink item on his arm) Fits like a glove. Just add air. (puts a plug in the arm's hole and pumps air into it) How big do you want 'em? (pumps air into other arm) Normal? (puts more air into arm) Veiny? And for the ladies... (puts air into arm which makes it grow hair) ...hairy. (Spongebob whistles as the TV puts up an image of a weak shark) "I was a wimp before anchor arms." Now, I'm a jerk and everybody loves me. So order now, wimp.
Spongebob: Wow, now that's a good idea.
Spongebob: I wanna be just like him. Yeah, I've gotta get to a phone. (later, a big shadow of Spongebob is walking down the road past Squidward, who is licking a popsicle) Hi, Squidward.
Mr Krabs: (Mr Krabs is sweeping outside the Krusty Krab) Huh?
Spongebob: Ahoy, Mr Krabs.
Mr Krabs: Mother of pearl. (hides in the Krusty Krab. Now, at Mussel Beach where everyone is lifting weights. Spongebob comes in and makes one guy drop a big weight on two others feet)
Spongebob: Hi, guys. (shows off new muscles)
Larry: Spongebob, is that you?
Spongebob: (walking on his hands) Who were you expecting, Tiny Tim? Wait...wait... (flexes those muscles) They're big aren't they?
Larry: Dude, you're ripped.
Spongebob: (flexes out the words) Thank...You. I've been working out. Excuse me a second. (flexes more) Yeah. Anyone up for the... (flexes muscles into drinks) ...juice bar?
Scooter: I'm tellin' ya, he's huge!
Sandy: Have you guys seen Spongebob anywhere?
Scooter: You mean 'MuscleBob BuffPants'? He's in there. (points to inside of bar)
Sandy: Uhh, whatever. Thanks.
Spongebob: I start off with 20 raw eggs everyday. But that's just me.
Sandy: Pardon me.
Spongebob: Working out is my life. I remember when I used to look like that guy over ther. (points to weak fish)
Fish: Who me? (everyone laughs)
Spongebob: I remember when I used to look like you, too. (points to Larry and laughs) But, that was a long time ago.
Bartender: Here's your drink, sir.
Spongebob: Thank you. (tries to lift up drinks but can't so he stretches his mouth out to the straw and drinks) Yeah...
Sandy: Spongebob? Wh-where'd you get those muscles?
Spongebob: I've created my own workout routine that's given me amazing results. (anchor arm almost slips off) Whoops. Yeah, I have never felt better.
Sandy: Heck, what's your secret?
Sandy: Your secret workout. What is it? (everyone wants to know)
Spongebob: Hmmm, well...I, uhh...first I take my hand and I do this... (makes armpit noises)
Larry: Are you kidding?
Spongebob: Do these muscles lie? (flexes muscles into a shape of a sponge. Everyone starts making armpit noises)
Sandy: I'm glad to see you found an excerise program that works for you.
Spongebob: Yeah, you're workout routine wasn't quite tough enough for me.
Sandy: Can't argue with those results. What you need to do now is put those muscles to the test.
Spongebob: Uhh, what do you mean?
Sandy: The big Mussel Beach anchor tossing competition. It's today. Everybody'll be there.
Bartender: Here's your drink. (sets drink on Spongebob's anchor-arm hand and sinks down)
Sandy: Hey, with those arms, you'll do great!
Spongebob: Uhh, well, I'm not sure.
Sandy: C'mon, let's go.
Spongebob: Now? Wait, uhh, wait, Sandy. I don't think it's such a... (tries to run away but the drink is holding him back. Tries lifting the drink but fails) Sandy, wait!
Sandy: Here it is-- the sign-in list.
Spongebob: Oh, no.
Sandy: (signs her name on a piece of paper) Ok, Sandy Cheeks. (puts paper into entry box)
Spongebob: (still struggling) Wait, Sandy-- don't sign just yet. (struggles even harder)
Sandy: (signs names) Spongebob Squarepants. (bartender lifts drink off of Spongebob which sends him flying towards Sandy)
Spongebob: Sandy, wait... (slams into pole)
Sandy: It's ok, Spongebob, I already signed your name in.
Spongebob: Oh, great. Thanks, Sandy. (at competition)
Announcer: We on? Welcome to the Goo Lagoon 8th annual anchor toss competition. (everyone is getting ready but Spongebob is so nervous)
Sandy: Ready, Spongebob?
Spongebob: Oh, yeah. Great. No problem. (blows frantically into his anchor arms)
Announcer: Could I get some mustard on that? Oh. First up, Don the Whale. (Don throws the anchor and lands. Person comes up to measure distance)
Measurer: 200 yards. (crowd cheers)
Announcer: Let's see an instant-replay. (another anchor comes flying in on top of the measurer) Amazing! Up next, Larry the Lobster. (Larry throws his anchor and it follows the measurer wherever he goes)
Measurer: 210 yards.
Announcer: Here goes, Sandy Cheeks. (Sandy throws it up in the air and kicks it. Measurer runs around until he gets hit)
Measurer: 510 yards.
Announcer: Wow! Fabulous!
Sandy: Beat that, Spongebob.
Announcer: Up next, Spongebob Squarepants. (crowd is immitating the armpit excerise while others are holding up Spongebob signs and chanting) Spongebob! Spongebob! Spongebob!
Spongebob: (tries to move the anchor but instead he falls under the ground with the anchor and comes out and laughs) Just kidding. Just kidding. (everyone laughs)
Sandy: That Spongebob is funnier than ears on an acorn.
Spongebob: Oh, this is it. They're all gonna find out I'm a fake. I can't give up. I've got to try. I can do it. I've got anchor arms. I'm no wimp, I'm a jerk. (blows into anchor arms to makes them "JERK" size. Tries the anchor again but when he tries to hard, some of the air in one arm goes into Spongebob's nose making it huge. Tries the anchor again but the air goes into his left eye as the crowd 'ooh's. Tries the anchor again but the air goes into his left tooth. Tries the anchor again but the air goes everywhere around his body then explodes. When the smoke clears, anchor arms are floating down)
Crowd Attendee: I think he lost. (crowd chants for Sandy) Sandy! Sandy! Sandy! (Sandy walks up to Spongebob and taps her foot. Tells Spongebob to follow her. Later, back at her treedome)
Spongebob: 96. 97. 98. 99. 100.
Sandy: I want 100 more.
Spongebob: It hurts. (changes channel over and over) 1. 2. 3. 4...
Sandy: I think we finally found an exercise for you, Spongebob.
Spongebob: ...9. 10. (arms falls off) Can you get that?