Texas - Spongebob Squarepants Transcripts
Written by Sherm Cohen, Vincent Waller and David Fain
Spongebob: Good morning Bikini Bottom! Ahh, what a beautiful day! I wonder if Patrick's at home.
Patrick: Hiya Spongebob! Whatcha doin'?
Spongebob: Goin' over to Sandy's place. Hey, what's this? This doesn't look like Sandy's place.
Sandy: Don't lose your barnacles boys. Hi-yah! There it is!
Spongebob: What is it?
Sandy: Can't ya see? It's Texas?
Spongebob: Texas? What's a Texas? (wave covers sand and ruins Sandy's Texas display)
Sandy: Ohh, it's nothing but a memory now.
Spongebob: All right then. Let's make one of your tree dome.
Sandy: You know, all of a sudden, I don't feel like sand castles Spongebob. I'll see y'all later.
Spongebob: Sandy? Hi-yah! (makes a few karate noises)
Sandy: Aww, Spongebob, I'm not feeling up to karate now.
Spongebob: Oh-ho. I get it. Not feeling up to karate, huh? Whatever you say Sandy. Boy, I hope Sandy doesn't attack me from me from behind. Hi-yah! (grabs Don the Whale from behind and flips him over onto the ground. Don punches Spongebob)
Spongebob: Uhh, Sandy? (shown surfing in the air) Surf's up Sandy!
Sandy: No thanks (buzzing)
Spongebob: Boy, there's nothing like going jellyfishing! (Patrick runs then falls on his face. He gets up and runs again)
Spongebob: Look Sandy, we caught one!
Sandy: Listen Spongebob, right now I don't want to build sand castles, play karate or eat jellyfish.
Spongebob: (laughs) We don't eat 'em! We let 'em go!
Patrick: Fly away little critter!
Spongebob: Go on, go back to where you belong. Run along, back to your family and friends. I know they miss you as much as you miss them. Hurry, before they forget you and leave you behind. Remember: there's no place like home! (Sandy cries filling her helmet with water. Takes a flusher handle and attaches it to her helmet. Pulls it down and all the water drains down)
Spongebob: Sandy, what the heck are you crying about?
Sandy: I ain't crying! My helmet just formed a leak!
Sandy: Oh, I guess I'm just feeling a little homesick.
Spongebob: Homesick, huh? (Sansy is blind-folded as Spongebob & Patrick take her somewhere)
Sandy: Dog-gone it, Spongebob, what is it?
Spongebob & Patrick: Welcome home Sandy! (Sandy cries)
Sandy: Go away!
Spongebob: I don't get it Patrick! What's wrong with Sandy?
Patrick: Maybe it's just a squirrel thing.
Sandy: (rises out of treedome with a guitar) Wish I was back in Texas. The ocean's no place for a squirrel. Wish I was Texas, prettiest place in the world, oh no. I guess deep in my heart, I'll always be a Texas girl. I wanna go home, home! (yodels)
Spongebob: Hey Patrick! Listen to that!
Patrick: (musical notes are wrapped around Patrick) Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Spongebob: Patrick! Listen! Hear that! That's Sandy!
Sandy: I wanna wake up in Texas. I miss those wide open skies. I miss my twenty acres. Barbecues and pecan pies, oh why, when I'm so far from you Texas, all I can do is cry. (various characters are shown crying)
Sandy: I wanna go home, (deep voice), I wanna go home! (Spongebob & Patrick cry)
Patrick: Do you think she knows the Muffin Man Song?
Spongebob: Patrick, she sang that song from her heart! She really misses Texas!
Patrick: Well, lets go get some Texas and bring it down here!
Spongebob: Patrick you can't..that's it! Patrick, your genius is showing!
Patrick: (closes his legs) Where?!
(at Krusty Krab)
Spongebob: Everything looks perfect. We're going to get Sandy now.
Mr Krabs: Well, hurry it up lads! We can't stand like this forever!
(at Sandy's house where Spongebob & Patrick are leap frogging to her house)
Spongebob & Patrick: Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab! Sandy's surprise is at the Krusty Krab!
Patrick: Wait until she sees the...
Spongebob: Shh! Don't spoil the surprise! (as Spongebob is about to knock, Sandy opens her door)
Spongebob: Hey Sandy! Want to come with us to the Krusty Krab?
Sandy: (walks out with 2 suitcases) Hey Spongebob. Hey Patrick.
Spongebob: What are you doing with those bags?
Sandy: I'm goin' back home to Texas.
Spongebob: What?! Now?! You can't! I mean...
Sandy: It's time for this tumbleweed to tumble back home.
Spongebob: Wait Sandy! You can't! Uhh, we we're gonna...the...the...Krusty Krab...that's not the right direction! Wait, if you don't...I can't...augh! Sandy! Wait a second! You don't wanna leave without have one last Krabby Patty down at the Krusty Krab?
Sandy: I'm tired of fish food Spongebob.
Spongebob: Don't you wanna say good-bye to all your friends at the Krusty Krab?
Sandy: I just can't do that Spongebob. It'll be too sad.
Spongebob: No, no! (bus drives off) Sandy! I can't believe she's gone.
Patrick: What's so great about dumb ol' Texas? (bus comes back)
Sandy: What did you say?
Patrick: Texas is dumb?
Sandy: Don't you dare take the name of Texas in vain!
Spongebob: You mean we can't say anything bad about dumb ol' Texas?
Sandy: No, you can't!
Patrick: Then can we say people from Texas are dumb?
Sandy: No! You can't say nothin' about Texas!
Spongebob: (gets idea) Oh, you mean we can't say anything bad about... (grabs his behind and rolls eyes) ...Texas!
Sandy: (face gets red) I'm warnin' you Spongebob!
Spongebob: Look Patrick, I'm Texas! Duh, howdy, y'all! Howdy y'all!
Patrick: I'm Texas too! Get a dog little longie! Get a dog!
Spongebob: Howdy y'all!
Patrick: Get a dog little longie! Get a dog!
Sandy: Y'all best cut it out!
Spongebob: The stars at night are dull and dim, whenever they have to be over dumb ol' stupid Texas! (Sandy gets mad)
Spongebob: (is in a Texas shape) Hey Patrick, what am I now?
Patrick: Uhh, stupid?
Spongebob: No, I'm Texas!
Patrick: What's the difference! (Spongebob and Patrick laugh)
Sandy: (drops suitcase) Y'all best apologize, or I'll be on you like ugly on an ape!
Spongebob: You'll have to catch us first! (Spongebob and Patrick run) We did it! We got her!
Patrick: Krusty Krab, here we come! Can we say that plants from Texas from dumb? Can we say that shoes from Texas are dumb?
Spongebob: Okay, Patrick, that's enough.
Patrick: Why? You think that old slowpoke Texas is gonna... (Sandy catches up with them)
Spongebob: Run faster, Patrick! (both of them scream)
Sandy: (Sandy ropes Patrick and brings him into the background)
Patrick: Ahh! Spongebob! (explosion is heard. Spongebob screams. Spongebob stops in front of a leaf and Sandy karate chops the leaf and Spongebob in half)
Sandy: Hi-yah! Y'all better take back what ya said!
Spongebob: No! Almost there! (Sandy's rope turns into Spongebob)
Spongebob: (as Spongebob jumps for the Krusty Krab, Sandy throws her rope. Spongebob hands onto the door as Sandy pulls Spongebob towards her)
Sandy: Spongebob, you've been messing with the bull! Now here comes the horns!
Spongebob: Sandy, no! (the front of the Krusty Krab tears off as Sandy has pulled tight enough)
Everyone: Howdy, y'all!
Sandy: Wha-what's this?
Spongebob: It's a party!
Patrick: (hopping over with arms and legs tied) For you!
Sandy: For me?!
Spongebob: It's your own little slice of Texas! Check it out Sandy! We got square dancing... (Flats is holding a square) ...giant Barbecues... (Squidward is holding a sharp, spiky Q) ...homemade peas-in-a-can pie... (Pearl is holding a pie with a can of peas in it) ...and we got our very own 10 gallon hats! (Spongebob and Patrick put on ten gallon water jugs on their head) So, what do ya think? Are you gonna stay? (Sandy starts to laugh and tears of laughter spew out and fill her helmet. Sandy uses her flush handle to drain it all out)
Spongebob: Don't cry anymore, Sandy. I'll get your bags.
Sandy: I ain't cryin,' I'm laughin'! I appreciate what y'all are trying to do, Spongebob, but home isn't about barbecues and pecan pies, home is where your surrounded by critters that care about ya. (everyone gathers around Sandy)
Sandy: Huh, duh. What am I doing? I was home all along, and it took me until now to realize it.
Spongebob: Does that mean you'll stay?
Sandy: I'm staying! (everyone cheers)
Patrick: Yeah, who needs dumb ol' Texas!
Sandy: What did you just say?
Patrick: Should I start running now?