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Mermaidman and Barnacelboy IV - Spongebob Squarepants Transcripts

Written by Jay Lender, Sam Henderson, and Merriwether Williams

Announcer: Ahh, the Krusty Krab. Through these doors pass all the many kinds of undersea life.
Mermaidman: Through the double doors! Away!
Announcer: And also these guys.
Barnacleboy: I told you I'm not hungry, Mermaidman!
Mermaidman: N-nonsense, Barnacleboy, we've got to keep up our strength for the fight against evil!
Barnacleboy: What a dive.
Mermaidman: To the register! Away!
Squidward: Can I help you?
Mermaidman: A double krabby patty and coral bits for me, and a silly meal for the lad.
Barnacleboy: It's not for the toy, I just...I've gotta fit in the tights, y'know?
Squidward: Whatever. Five dollars, please.
Mermaidman: You got it, bucky. Will this cover it? (pulls out a nut/bolt)
Squidward: No.
Barnacleboy: Listen big nose, this guy has been saving your butt since you were born. Don't you got a living legend discount or something?
Squidward: This is a restaurant, not a lending library. And who are you calling big nose, big nose? (both press noses against each other. Barnacleboy gets out a $5 bill and gives it to Squidward)
Barnacleboy: Well next time danger threatens, don't expect any help from us!
Squidward: I’m shakin’. Heh. Mermaidman and Barnacleboy.
Spongebob: Mermaidman and Barnacleboy? Must...get...autograph! (stretches arms to get a pin and paper)
Mermaidman: If you wanna grow up strong like me...you gotta leave room for seconds. Here comes our waiter!
Spongebob: Autograph!!
Barnacleboy: Holy sea cow, it's that Sponge-kid!
Mermaidman: Quick lad, to the invisible boatmobile! Away!
Barnacleboy: Where'd we park?
Mermaidman: Uhh...
Spongebob: Can I have your autograph can I have your autograph can I.. they're gone! (gasps) Mermaidman's belt!
Mermaidman: Wait! We'll find it with the invisible boat alarm! (Barnacleboy jumps on the stick shift)
Barnacleboy: Ow! I told you we shoulda’ got the automatic!
Spongebob: Hey guys! Wait up! I've got something for you...
Barnacleboy: Floor it! (both speed off in the boat)
Spongebob: You forgot your belt! You forgot...Mermaidman's secret utility belt! The emblem of submersible justice! For 65 years, this belt has helped prevent the fall of nations...and pants. I can't believe I'm actually holding it in my hands! Well, I guess I should return it. Or not! I could just hang onto it till after work...all alone with Mermaidman's belt. I wonder what this button does! Whoa! The small ray! Hmm...
Squidward: Here's your shake, sir. (hands a small krabby patty to a cockroache)
Spongebob: There you go. Come again, sir.
Squidward: Spongebob, what's going on in here? Huh? Why's everything all... tiny?
Spongebob: I don't know.
Squidward: What do you got there?
Spongebob: Nothing.
Squidward: No, really?
Spongebob: Nothing.
Squidward: You've got something alright, let's see it!
Spongebob: No! No!
Squidward: Is that Mermaidman's belt?
Spongebob: Yes.
Squidward: Wow! I can't believe he'd lend it to you!
Spongebob: Me, uh, either.
Squidward: He didn't lend it to you, did he?
Spongebob: Please don't tell!
Squidward: You stole it!
Spongebob: Please don't tell!
Squidward: Oh. I'm telling.
Spongebob: Squidward, if Mermaidman finds out, he'll kick me out of his fan club for sure! Please don't tell!
Squidward: Uh-oh! There's the phone!
Spongebob: Don't!
Squidward: I'm walking towards the phone! (walks towards phone)
Spongebob: No!
Squidward: I'm getting closer to the phone!
Spongebob: Do-o-on't!
Squidward: And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for...
Spongebob: I'm begging you!
Squidward: (picks up the phone) Hello. I'd like to speak to Mermaid... (Spongebob shrinks Squidward) What the...what... (phones hits Squidward) Ow!
Mermaidman: Hello? Hello?
Squidward: What did you do to me?
Spongebob: I'm sorry Squidward, but you made me do it!
Squidward: Spongebob, if you don't return me to normal size right now, you are gonna be in really big trouble!
Spongebob: Uhh....ok...uhh...
Squidward: I said now!
Spongebob: Uhh...uhh... (belt is shown with many buttons to it)
Squidward: Do you hear me? (Spongebob changes Squidward into a multi-eyed Squidward) Holy fish paste! Get it off me! Get it off me! (takes eyes off him) Don't you know how to work that thing?
Spongebob: Uhh, I can do it! (Spongebob changes Squidward a lot)
Squidward: Sto-o-p! I've got an idea. Let's call Mermaidman and...
Spongebob: No! I can't let you do that! But there must be someone else who can help! Someone smart and wise, with years of life experience...Patrick! Patrick! Patrick! Patrick!
Patrick: Ehh? Huh? Oh. Hi Spongebob.
Spongebob: Patrick, I was at work and Mermaidman and Barnacleboy came, and I got this belt, and look
Patrick: A Squidward action figure! Let me play with it!
Spongebob: No, Patrick!
Patrick: Fighter pilot! Dive bomb!
Spongebob: Patrick!
Patrick: And here comes a giant fist!
Spongebob: Patrick, no! That's not an action figure! That's the real Squidward! I shrunk him by accident.
Patrick: Oh...and here comes a giant fist!
Spongebob: Pat, you don't understand! This is serious! I don't know how to unshrink him! He could be stuck like this for the rest of his life.
Patrick: Oh, don't worry about it. He'll find love one day...
Spongebob: You think so?
Patrick: Well, sure. But it'll be with someone his own size. Like this pickle! See? They like each other!
Squidward: N-n-n-n-no. (Patrick bangs them together like they wanna kiss)
Spongebob: Oh, if only I knew how to work this thing!
Patrick: Lemme take a look at it.Hmmm...you know what the problem is?
Spongebob: What?
Patrick: You got it set to 'M' for mini when it should be set to 'W' for wumbo.
Spongebob: Patrick, I don't think wumbo is a real word.
Patrick: Come on. You know: I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me, wumbo, wumbo, wumboing...
Squidward: I wonder if a fall from this height could be enough to kill me.
Patrick: ...wumbology, the study of wumbo? It's first grade, Spongebob!
Spongebob: Patrick, I'm sorry I doubted you.
Patrick: Well alright then. Let 'er rip! It worked!
Spongebob: Oh no!
Patrick: Look, Spongebob's giant! Can I be giant next?
Spongebob: Patrick, I'm not giant, you shrunk too!
Patrick: You're kidding! Good thing I still got this pickle!
Squidward: Hey! Now will you take us to Mermaidman!
Spongebob: No! He can never find out! But I'll think of something. I promise. Until then, you'll be safe in this jar.
Patrick: You know what's funny? My pickle started out in a jar, and now it's in one again! Heh. It's like a pun or something. Heheh.
Spongebob: It's only two people... no big deal, nobody else saw it...
Sandy: Howdy, Spongebob!
Spongebob: Aah! Sandy! (shrinks Sandy)
Sandy: What did y...for cryin’ o...What did y'all do to me?
Spongebob: I'm sorry Sandy! Mermaidman came in and..
Larry: Hey Spongebob (shrinks Larry)
Fish #1: Hey Spongebob, I... (shrinks fish)
Fish #2: Hi Spongebob. (shrinks fish)
Mrs Puff: Hello Spongebob. (shrinks Mrs Puff)
Scooter: Sponge-dude! (shrinks Scooter)
Spongebob: Whoo! I'm gonna have to get a bigger jar.
Squidward: Spongebob, will you just face facts? You've shrunken everybody in Bikini Bottom! You've got to go to Mermaidman!
Spongebob: Oh Squidward, he'll be so disappointed...
Sandy: Well, you can't leave us small forever!
Spongebob: You don't understand!
Mrs Squarepants: Spongebob, you need to admit your mistakes!
Spongebob: Mom?!
Mermaidman: Your mother's right, son. Mermaidman will understand.
Barnacleboy: You're Mermaidman, you old coot!
Mermaidman: Oh yeah.
Spongebob: Mermaidman? I'm so sorry, it's just that I'm such a big fan, and your belt, and...
Mermaidman: Oh, don't worry son. I understand. Why, I remember back when I first used the belt, the year was nineteen o eleventeen twelve, why I believe the president
All: Just tell him how to unshrink us!!!!!
Mermaidman: Oh, yes. The unshrink ray... let's see, uh.. uh... did you set it to wumbo?
All: What?! (spells out GET SPONGEBOB!) Get Spongebob!! Ahh!
Squidward: Now I have to drive five miles to go to the bathroom in my own home!
Sandy: And I need an elevator to climb one stair! HI-YA!
Mermaidman: We've been shrinking for years!
Barnacleboy: But this is ridiculous!
All: Everything's too big!!
Spongebob: I've got it! (Shrinks town) Ta-da! Since I couldn't make you big, I made the city small! And now, only one more thing to shrink. Cheese! (shrinks self)
Squidward: I guess this is okay.
Larry: Yeah, what's the difference?
Lady fish: Good idea, Spongebob. (everyone cheers as a bus comes back and Plankton gets off of it)
Plankton: Well, it's great to be back! (notices small Bikini Bottom)

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