The Demise of Jetzia Draught
There is one thing most assassins don't take to very easily. Of course they can hide in dark places, and not make a noise, but they must always be very alert. As a result, sleep is often difficult, especially when faced with dark, quiet spaces - much like the shady work environment of the assassin.
One such assassin was a young lady named Jetzia Draught. Though she kept a day job as a grocery store clerk, she often found herself working her second job by night, speaking to potential customers and testing locations from which to commit her assassinations. As a result, she never got much sleep at night, though sometimes she napped between Survivor and Law and Order on Thursdays.
After a long winter of dark scouting, she finally found an assassination that would suit her well. The Fleet Admiral would be boarding his yacht in the wee hours of the morning, heading out to make the most of his Memorial day weekend (and skipping out on all those boring ceremonies). His lookalike would be standing in for him all weekend, trying desperately to stay awake through all the anthems and saluting.
The problem was, without Survivor on television, she no longer got her hour long nap on Thursdays. By the time Saturday morning hit, the bright sunrise lulled Miss Draught to sleep, as she lay in the oak overlooking the dock where the yacht sat. She woke to the sound of the Fleet Admiral scraping his barbecue as he prepared his ship for the day, but fell fast asleep again.
It was not long before she found her gun had dropped from her hands during her slumber! Suddenly she was wide awake, and lept from the tree to find the tool of her trade. What she forgot was that the oak's branches were holding her out over the water, and she fell into the calm morning ocean. Splash!
The Fleet Admiral knew he couldn't leave any witnesses behind when he heard the sound, so he didn't through in the lifesaver to his would-be-assassin. What would the navy do if they learned he shirked on his holiday duties?
Jetzia fell fast asleep in the warm waves, once again. As she drowned, she remembered there was an hour of bad TV between Malcolm in the Middle and CSI where she could have napped, and prevented this disaster.