Thy Flesh Consumed

I’m really not sure why I came here to write now. Sadly my inspiration has deserted me of late and I seem to end up writing random, meaningless crap. Still, here I am again anyways…

I went shopping on Saturday and decided to pamper myself a bit - haircut, clothes, the whole nine yards. I don’t think I know why, but it might have something to do with how low I’ve been feeling lately. I guess I just needed cheering up a little. Oh yeah, and now I’m blonde again…

Anyways, having spent an hour in Newquay getting more and more irate at the hoardes of holidaymakers packed into the town’s narrow streets, I decided to come home again. It was a nice train journey back that lasted a little under an hour. Once you get out of the built up area and into the countryside again, it really is a sight to behold - especially running along the base of the Luxulyan Valley, flanked by lush greenery and tiny cottages tucked away in the undergrowth. So pretty…

Uh, I digress. After I got off the train I decided I’d take my time walking back. It was a nice day and I was in no real rush, so I just wandered aimlessly, following the longest route I could without having to think too hard about where I was going. Soon enough, I found myself sitting on a bench in the park overlooking the duck pond. It was quiet, nobody around save for a small family minding their own business some 300 yards away and the ducks, scouring the surface of the pond for a tasty bite to eat. Sadly for them, nothing was forthcoming - I’m not in the habit of carrying food around with me, and I think the family was too interested in making the most of the late afternoon sun to worry about where the ducks would be getting their next meal from… I took a moment to regard my company - the ducks, seemingly oblivious to their surroundings, happy as can be and the family, safe in their ‘unit’, and it was just then that I had the oddest sense of not belonging. I honestly felt like I had no right being there, in such a beautiful place, without someone to enjoy the experience with me. I somehow felt like I was in the wrong for wanting to enjoy something on my own, without the pressures of worrying about how someone else is feeling. Most curious, and quite disturbing.

So I moved on…

My path took me over the railway bridge and along a narrow gravel track named “Rundle’s Walk", which ran parallel to the railway line and next to that, a river. I wondered to myself who the little boy was that unwittingly made his way onto the lines and was killed by an oncoming train. I have no way of knowing this is what happened, of course, it’s merely speculation, but oftentimes paths and roads are named after someone whom a terrible accident has befallen. So I wondered who the boy called ‘Rundle’ was… A morbid thought, I know. Oddly enough, I was reminded of perhaps one of the greatest films of all time - “Stand By Me", about a group of friends.. Ah, if you know the film, you know the story. I shan’t bore you with it now. Anyway, soon enough I was home, my journey over and I was left to contemplate the day’s events. This was the result.

Speaking of results, look at me!

Anyways, I shall sign off now; it’s late and before long I’ll start rambling about the follies of youth and trying to put the world to rights from in front of my PC. Before I go, though, someone asked to get a mention in here, so Kim, if you’re reading this, HI!

Thought for the day: If you’re missing someone, think of them, they always appear when you need them…

Howdy folks! Er, this isn’t gonna be a real long post, I just thought I’d check in and let you know what’s going on…

First of all, and probably most notably, I took a trip to the tattoo studio on Satuday and decided I’d get another hole put in me -

It hurts. Not much, but enough to bother me… So, I’ve been in a bad mood for the last couple of days. Nice.

Hrm, what else? Oh yeah, we finally got enough members in our Battlefield Vietnam clan to be able to participate in the EMGL ladder. Woohoo! It’s been several months in the making, but we’re finally in a position to make a name for ourselves. Now all I need is a little more time to commit to it…

Uh, OTF’s 7th Anniversary celebrations are well underway, and I was voted biggest ladies’ man, which was nice… And last month I finally made CL5 and they took me off monitor status, so I’m no longer a junior troublemaker. Phooey!

I’ve decided I hate my new job. That is all.

I’ve also decided that I’m going to save some money and go visit my darling Jess in California in November. I’m not really sure what made me decide, but I am. We’ve been growing a lot closer these last few weeks and the more I think about her, the more I want to meet her. So I am! I’m hoping to get out there for around the 11th, so I’ve got a bit of time to save. Here’s hoping, though!

Aaaaaand, I think that’s just about it. I’m completely devoid of interesting conversation right now, so I’m just gonna scoot off again. Tata!

Thought for the day: The age of consent in California is 18, please bear that in mind when travelling. Have a nice day…

I was at work yesterday when a song came on the radio that I hadn’t heard in a long time - Hey Jude, by The Beatles. It brought back some fond memories…

It was a quiet night by our standards, and the four of us had just spent a pleasant evening on the lawn outside my caravan - we were celebrating Steven’s birthday. Time had slipped by so quickly, we barely even noticed that the sun was starting to come up. There was I, curled up in bed with Charlotte wrapped around me; she looked so peacuful, so happy, and Amy behind me, softly singing in my ear to the Beatles album that was playing in the background. Steven, not one to miss out on a few minutes’ sleep, was dozing at the end of the bed. Not really with us, as such, but still very much part of the group. As we lay there in each others’ arms, quiety enjoying the sensation of familiar flesh, I found myself thinking, “is it really possible to be this happy?” At the time, I didn’t think so. All I could see was where it all started to go wrong; fixed in my mind like a bad omen… But looking back at those few hours, I can see I was happy. Really, truly happy.

We were great friends, the four of us, inseparable by anything but the most dire of circumstances. We spent almost every waking moment together, out partying, or just staying in and enjoying one another’s company. Of course, that’s all gone now. We’re still friends, but it’s not the same. Steven and Amy are no longer together; in fact, they were the first of the four to go their separate ways, Charlotte and I soon to follow. I still see Steven occasionally, and Charlotte nowhere near as often as I’d like. Amy is slowly fading into a distant memory… But see, that’s the thing - memories. No matter how much time passes, I’ll always have that. Friendships are destined to disappear into the mists of time, but as long as you never forget, you’ll always have that little piece to carry around in your heart.

I don’t think it’ll be the last time we four come together again, in a happy reunion, and I know it’ll be like we were never apart. The shyness all stripped away, our emotions laid bare. We know each other better than we know ourselves, and I’m grateful for the time we spent together, developing a bond that I know will never be broken, not even by the thousands of miles that separate us. In the end, distance is relative - it’s how close you feel in your heart that really counts.

Thought for the day: Charlotte, Steven, Amy, if you ever read this, know that you’ll always be in my heart, no matter what.