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Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 18:02:58
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
FIN.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 18:02:16
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
To this day I sit here, in my throne, with Mary Kate Olson chained to my leg. You'd think I'd be happy, but I still have images of assless baboons, my lost love Frank Sinatra's ghost, my dead (again) zombie son Bernice and - even worse, Barbara Streisand haunting me.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 18:00:27
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
And so I met with Mary Kate, and in royal tradition got married to her and became king.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:59:44
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
I packed my bags and collection of frightened little boys and left for home again, where I was welcomed by jubilant masses parading through the streets. As it turned out, during my absence they discovered I was a direct descendant of Mary Kate Olson.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:57:46
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
Frank Sinatra's ghost was torn up about Bernice's funeral, though. He was still upset that I had worn a diaper for a while, and he felt that all that kept us together was Bernice. Now that Bernice was gone, he wanted to move on too, and so I was left alone again.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:56:02
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
There was one odd event, though. After Bernice's coffin was lowered in the grave, Barbara Streisand's assless baboon twin brother jumped up, screamed, "I don't want you to leave me!" and jumped in the grave too. Barbara Streisand was quite upset about it, but the rest of us didn't mind burying her alive.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:54:13
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
Bernice's funeral was very sad, but tasteful. Bernice himself kept banging the lid of his coffin, but that's what you get with zombies.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:53:04
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
So we draped a white satin sheet over Bernice, and as several red spots appeared Frank Sinatra's ghost and myself knew what had to be done.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:52:20
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
Bernice fell to his knees and wailed, "It's true, I shouldn't! I am tainted!"

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:51:29
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
But as he received his degree Barbara Streisand stood up in the audience, and her assless baboon siamese twin brother said, "Bernice shouldn't be wearing pure white!" leaving all other audience members to gasp and pee a little.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:50:29
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
A little while later Bernice, my zombie son who turned out to be a baby genius, graduated from Harvard. The ceremony was beautiful, he wore a pure white wedding gown.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:49:07
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
With my profit I got my leaky backside fixed up, which pleased the ghost of Frank Sinatra quite a bit, as he started having doubts about being in a marriage with a guy that wore diapers.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:47:45
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
I picked up the cameras they left behind as they ran away in panic, which I then sold to Barbara Streisand shortly after she got re-attached to her siamese twin, an assless baboon. Some kind of "going back to my roots" thing she was on about.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:46:27
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
I quickly took off the diaper, which scared away the letter and the crowd of Japanese tourists that had gathered around us.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:45:36
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
Luckily I was wearing a padded diaper because of a complication during childbirth, so I didn't feel much of his attack.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:44:47
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
The letter, however, didn't see it that way and went all crazy kung fu on my ass.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:44:10
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
I then told the letter, "Shut up, you're not supposed to talk" after which he said, "And you're not supposed to marry a ghost!" so we were even.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:43:24
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
The letter said, "I am very angry at you."

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:42:49
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
People frowned upon the whole human-ghost relationship, though. And we ever got an angry letter from someone after we had our first child, a zombie boy we named Bernice.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:41:54
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
We kissed passionately, and got married a week later.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:41:33
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
And he came closer to smack me, but as he looked into my eyes he began to smile.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:41:07
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
However, this in turn brought forth Sinatra's spirit, and he called me and said, "Stop dat, idiot foo'! I keel j00!"

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:40:19
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
But I soon had my revenge when I realised that beating them over the head with a thighbone I robbed from Frank Sinatra's grave would shut them the hell up.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:39:21
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
There were a lot of people there, and they all kicked me until I said, "Sfi!"

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:38:42
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
And I blew up, and flew to a far away land called Hahastupididiotia.

Rank: Smuggler
michiel is your dad's pal at 84.104.69 at 17:38:04
(...) (With a Tongue of Adolescent Puns +1)
Well, this one time I was picking flowers in this minefield.

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