Cursed my black soul,
Fighting ‘gainst the horrid lust and want,
That permeates my spirit, icily
I want you,
Yet, I can’t have you.
I bite my lip and turn away, ashamed.
You’re so close to me,
Yet so far away.
I could reach out and touch, killing.
I don’t want to risk it,
I don’t want to feel it,
I want it all to go away, screaming.
I rail against myself,
This unnatural want,
This guilty pleasure, fighting.
I wander home,
Praying no one notices,
As I exit the taxi, stealthily.
I stroll down the street,
Wiping away my tears,
Staining my cheeks, afraid.
Is this torture worth the pain?
Why does it seem so easy,
But so hard at the same time? Confused.
Lost is my soul.
Lost am I.
Doomed to walk alone…
Forever.