Have you ever wondered, in the shadows of our mind, why it is that we feel as if we’re standing next to a great mountain? Why does it feel like we’re standing in a river with water flowing around our ankles? Why does it feel like the weight of the world is crushing down like a viper squeezing tight… I’ve been wondering if the theroy that we travel spiritually, body to body, lifetime to lifetime isn’t true. That we try to get close to the same spirits over the years. I’m wondering this because I’ve really started to feel ancient lately and I’m only 19 so there’s no way that I could explain this feeling any other way. Am I really a product of my past lives? Have I really worked up through the different levels of life to be granted this time around as a human? Is this my first time as a human? If not, why am I gay this time? Did I get the short end of the straw? Am I being given a challenge? Am I someone sent here to change lives? Why do I feel like I’m stuck in perfect balance between hell and heaven?
Perhaps soon I’ll get my answers.
*floats down from Nirvana* I will answer all your questions. 1. You feel like you’re standing next to a great mountain because you are overwhelemed by the world. Y’see, Tom, you need to stop trying to put your finger on it. It being Truth, Universal Truth… it isn’t something you can just ‘get’. Simply be in the now, and appreciate the puddle and smile at the sunshine. 2. You feel like you’re standing in a river because everything seems like it’s flowing past you. You feel like you’re being left behind. Realise, however, that in the grand scheme of things, you too are moving. You might not realise it yet, but you are. Your perspective will change once you look back on it. 3. You’re feeling crushed for the same reasons answered in question 1. Do not think of the world as a crushing force, think of it more like a moving air. If you go with the flow, you will move and go places. If you stand still, you will stand still. Also, partake in whatever faith makes you feel most comfortable. To be human, is, afterall, to find the path of least resistance. It is nature. Questions 4 through 6 are also answered. 7. Being gay isn’t the short end of the stick. A stick has no short end, it simply is as short or as tall as a stick is. Being gay can be a fantastic thing. You are able to trasngress many cultural and societal boundaries and yet you are able to fall neatly into a niche also. As gay men, I must say, we have the best of both worlds. And my favourite, we can perve with out boyfriends. 8. This is your most stupid question. Of course you are being challenged - it is the essence of life. If it were not a challenge, I’m sure most of us would’ve bowed out at around age two or three. 9. Of course! You have changed many lives. All lives, possibly, eventually. See the Butterfly Effect for more information. 10. Maybe you are. Maybe heaven and hell are fictional constructions of a very well written story, designed to help us through this ‘challenge’ of life. Maybe you are not stuck, but rather you think you are stuck. Maybe you can move between these constructs of binary opposites by pure will. Heaven - Hell. Happy - Sad. Elation - Depression. Just think it, and it is so. See the Matrix for more information.
That is all.
Comment by Brady — 60:2005 @ 956